Wednesday, September 27, 2006

We Can All Relate to This

Now Playing on My Intended iPod:If You're Going Through Hell by Rodney Atkins

Dedicated to a good friend.

And since I know many of you will not click on the link, I've posted the lyrics here.

If You're Going Through Hell

Well you know those times when you feel like
There's a sign there on your back.
Says: "I don't mind if you kick me;
Seems like everybody has."
Things go from bad to worse:
You'd think they can't get worse than that an' then they do.

You step off the straight an' narrow,
An' you don't know where you are.
Use the needle of your compass,
To sew up your broken heart.
Ask directions from a genie,
In a bottle of Jim Beam an' she lies to you.

Well, that's when you learn the truth:
If you're goin' through hell,
Keep on goin'.
Don't slow down:
If you're scared, don't show it.
You might get out,
Before the devil even knows you're there.

Well, I've been deep down in that darkness,
I been down to my last match.
Felt a hundered different demons,
Breathin' fire down my back.
An' I knew that if I stumbled,
I'd fall right into the trap that they were layin', yeah.

But the good news is there's angels,
Everywhere out on the street.
Holdin' out a hand,
To pull you back up on your feet;
The one's that you been draggin' so long,
You're on your knees; you might as well be prayin'.

Guess what I'm sayin':
If you're goin' through hell,
Keep on goin'.
Don't slow down:
If you're scared, don't show it.
You might get out,
'Fore the devil even knows you're there.

Yeah, if you're goin' through hell,
Keep on movin'.
Face that fire:
Walk right through it.
You might get out,
'Fore the devil even knows you're there.

If you're going through hell
Keep on goin'.
Don't slow down:
If you're scared, don't show it.
You might get out,
'Fore the devil even knows you're there.

Yeah, if you're goin' through hell,
Keep on movin'.
Face that fire:
Walk right through it.
You might get out,
'Fore the devil even knows you're there.

Monday, September 25, 2006


Someone (cough-meh-cough, cough-ken-ah) is giving me grief over the size of the iPod I am coveting. "You don't need one that big," she assures me. "You would be just fine with the smaller 30GB model that holds 7,500 songs."

At first I was offended. "I'll show her!" I said, and I started an Excel file of songs I want to put on my intended iPod. I've got over 500 titles on my list and I've only gone through the Time-Life collections. I bet I can boost that list to 2,000 with one ear tied behind my head.

But she's right. I did need to reconsider the model of iPod I want. So after much soul-searching and quiet reflection, I've decided that now I want this one instead--the one on the right, the one that is 80GB and holds 20,000 songs.

Now playing on my intended iPod: Play that Funky Music by Wild Cherry

Friday, September 22, 2006

Life List

It’s a cold and rainy day and I’m watching Ellen. I’m still in my pjs. When it hit noon, and I hadn’t gotten around to getting dressed, I decided to rebel and keep my pjs on all day. Just because. That’s one of the benefits of being the president, CEO and queen of your own company. You can “telecommute” any time you want and work in your jammies and no one will fire you.

So Ellen is talking about writing your Life List. Apparently I’ve been on another planet for some time now and completely missed the fact that this is the new thing we’re all supposed to be doing. I’m still working on my Gratitude Journal—so passé.

I did a Life List when I was 16, only I didn’t know to call it that. I called it the “100 Things I Want to Do Before I Get Too Old” list. It included things like go to Mexico, get a pair of lace up hippie boots, and write a novel. By the time I turned 21 and got married, making me therefore too old to do anything fun in my life anymore, I had accomplished 98 of the 100 things on my list. The only two I hadn’t done were backpack through Europe and motorcycle across the U.S., visiting all of the 48 contiguous states.

Feeling very smug and proud of myself, I took some time off from “life listing.” I thought I’d give myself a few months before creating a new Life List. But life didn’t wait for my list, it just happened. I had a couple, or four, children and concentrated on raising them. For a long time, my Life List only had one item on it: get through the next 24 hour period.

It feels like I looked away from that list for just a minute and all of a sudden it’s 26 years later, and I’m sitting in my jammies watching Ellen and remembering. So I’m making a new Life List (or as I plan to call it, My “100 Things I Want to Do Before My Teeth Fall Out” list).

Let’s see…

#1. Get an iPod with vital accessories.

#2. Oh. Commercial is over. Ellen's back on. I’ll get back to my list tomorrow.

Now Playing on my intended iPod: I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Thanks Megan

First, I want to say that I have THE four most talented, beautiful, kind and thoughtful children on the planet. Each of them has blessed my life deeply and I am forever grateful that God sent them to me. I could go on and on about each one of them, and maybe I will some day. But after I sort of vented about the whole drivers license thing the other day, I feel the need to say some nice things about my youngest daughter, Megan. To kind of balance things out.

Megan is really an exceptional girl. She has a great many talents and abilities and I am constantly amazed at how she uses those to bless the world.

She is a writer, and sees the world through a writer’s eyes. As a young child, she would sit and watch people interact and come up with some of the most insightful comments on deeply universal themes.

She is a musician. She plays the piano like a concert pianist. She picked up a guitar a few months ago and is teaching herself to play--and it's phenomenal how quickly she's learning.

She is a true student. Megan doesn’t study much. She doesn’t need to. She catches on quickly and does well in school.

She is a believer. Megan believes in the goodness of others, regardless of how they look or dress or act. She believes in the goodness of life.

But the talent I cherish most in this girl is Megan is happy. She looks for the humor in every situation. She finds the silver lining in every storm. She laughs and she plays with an open heart, drinking in love and life.

Megan is, pure and simple, a gift of love from God to me. I tend to be a little intense and uptight and to see and feel the burdens of the world. I believe God sent Megan to me to teach me how to play and how to be happy. And she has done a spectacular job of that.

Thanks Megan. I am a better person because of you. I love you.

Now playing on my intended iPod: Rosemary's Granddaughter by Jessica Andrews

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I'm Proud to Live in Utah

I'm proud to live in Utah.

Click here to find out why.

(If it plays really jerky, let it go all the way through once to get it cached. Then play it a second time and it should do fine.)

Now playing on my intended iPod: "Tribute to Utah"

Monday, September 18, 2006

How NOT to Help Your Daughter Get a Drivers License--in 14 Very Easy, but Time Consuming Steps

1. This requires advance planning. First, have a child in the middle of summer, so that she will not be in school over her birthday. This will ensure that there will be no convenient semester for her to take Drivers Education.

2. Tell your child she needs to be responsible for her life and sign up to take Drivers Ed during summer school. Nag her incessantly for three weeks, but do not call the school yourself to determine the deadline for summer school sign-up.

3. Miss the deadline for summer school sign-up.

4. Have your child enroll to take Drivers Education through the online high school. This way, you will have no one to call or talk to face-to-face to make sure that you fully understand the process. (Having a teacher who only checks his e-mail every two weeks and goes on an extended vacation during the class is also a very good idea--if you can arrange it.)

5. Pay $22.00 for a book (that is provided free if you take the class at school).

6. If you don't already live there, move to a state that changes the laws governing the licensing process thirty days before your child's 16th birthday. That way, you, your child, the teacher, the online high school, the DLD of the DMV, and everyone else you talk to will be confused, and all authorities will give you conflicting information.

7. Ask the online teacher general questions about the process. Do not specifically say, "I am an idiot, so please send me step-by-step instructions for completing this process before August 1st. And make sure the instructions are written on a second grade level."

8. Assume that the DLD is telling you the truth when they say, "That little blue piece of paper that came with your class outline IS the learner's permit. No, you don't need to come down here to do anything else. If she has the permit, she's on the old program. You can take the driving portion of the test as soon as school starts and everything will be fine."

9. Assume that when the online class final is labeled "State Test" that it really is the State Test and that no further written testing is required.

10. Assume that when you tell your child, "Put this permit in your wallet and never take it out, on pain of death!" that they will actually put it in their wallet.

11. Assume that when both the school and the DLD of the DMV tell you, two days before the new law goes into effect, that you are on track to get her license as soon as she does the road test, that you have done everything you need to do, and that you will be "grandfathered in" on the old program, that they are telling you the truth.

12. Spend one entire day finding the social security card.

13. Spend one entire day finding the birth certificate.

14. After a full week of range driving (2 hours a day, two towns south of where you live) and a full week of road driving (at 6:00 a.m., every day, two towns south of where you live) you discover:

a. that the blue piece of paper was NOT her permit and she's been driving illegally all summer;

b. that the online test was the class final and NOT the state written test; the state written test must be taken at the DMV and the deadline for the old program was 48 days ago;

c. that the e-mail explaining that you had to go down to the DMV to take the real state written test before August 1st was apparently hijacked and is lost somewhere in cyberspace, probably over China;

d. that the deadline passed (48 days ago) and no one can do anything about it;

e. that instead of getting her license on Friday, she must take the real written state test on that day, then wait another 6 FULL MONTHS before she can get her license;

f. that you will be spending another 6 FULL MONTHS driving her to school, to work, to lacrosse, to radio, and to every other place she needs to be;

g. that you are developing a very bad habit of swearing under your breath.

Now playing on my intended iPod: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


I am so tired of living in a world where physical appearance wins out over more important things, like kindness, generosity, intelligence.

I’ve pretty much resigned myself to looking like a half-put-together goofball most of the time. It just takes too long to do the hair and the make-up and the dress-up. I have more important things to do—like write my blogs.

That doesn’t mean I’m a slob. I shower—almost every day. I wash my hair. I comb it out and try to coax it into a position that doesn’t scream “Loser.” My clothes don’t always match, but they are clean—unless I’ve just eaten chocolate syrup or spaghetti. And I brush my teeth about 8 times in every 24-hour period (that’s a story that will have to be told another day). What I’m saying is, I’m not a raging beauty, but I’m tolerably presentable.

And that’s just fine with me. It’s easy for me to be casually indifferent to my appearance, because I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m married to a man who was able to see past the outside. He fell in love and married me when I weighed 300 pounds. When I informed him that I was serious about doing whatever it takes to lose weight, he said (and this is an exact quote, forever burned into my memory—even if I get alzheimer’s one day, I will still remember this):

If you want to lose weight for health reasons or because it will make you feel better about yourself, that’s fine and I’ll support you in whatever you want to do. But don’t think you have to lose weight for me. I couldn’t love you any more than I do now.
And I believed him. And my world became safe. And I lost the weight.

But, back to being beautiful. My heart just breaks as I watch my girls navigate a harsh, judgmental world where so much emphasis is placed on how you look. I worry. Will they be as lucky as I am? Will they find someone who will cherish them for how they think and how they act, rather than how they look? And will they be able to brush off the darts and arrows flung at them by visually oriented idiots?

I hope so, because my girls are the three most beautiful people I know—inside and out.

Now Playing on my intended iPod: Beautiful by Christina Aguilera

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

New Blog

I started a new blog called Signature Scents. It's all about how I became a Scent Consultant for Urban Botanic and how you should really host a party and try their products because they're wonderful. I will also include some reviews on books or products that I think would be helpful to other Scent Consultants, or anyone, for that matter.

But that's all I'm going to say about that here on this blog. If you're interested, click the links. If you are geographically distant from me, but want to have a party, fill out the info on the website and I'll hook you up with someone in your area.

Now playing on my intended iPod: Free by Donavon Frankenwreiter

Monday, September 11, 2006

I Want an iPod

My oldest daughter just upgraded her iPod.

Did she offer to sell her old one to her mother? No! She sold it to her baby sister for $80. I’m ticked. You can’t even touch that price on ebay, for the iPod by itself. But she also threw in the charger and this cool thing that lets you plug it into the cigarette lighter in your car, tune to an empty radio station and then listen to it through your radio speakers.

But that’s okay. I forgive her because I want this one anyway. 60 GB. Holds up to 15,000 songs. I don’t think there are 15,000 songs that I would want to listen to, but I don’t care. The heart wants what it wants.

I also want the charging dock, the Airplay2 (the cigarette lighter thingee), the OnStage 2 dock with speakers, and the Sportwrap for when I go workout. (Shut up. I work out. Sometimes.)

Oh, and I also want the cute little socks to keep it warm at night.

And a bunch of iTunes Gift Cards.

I figure $2,000 ought to do it.

I don’t know where I’m going to get $2,000. But I was watching Wayne Dyer on PBS the other day and he’s all into the power of intention and creating the way to get what you want in your life. So, I’m going to “intent” this iPod, with accessories, into my life. By Christmas. 2006.

Now playing on my intended iPod: Running on Empty by Jackson Browne