Thursday, May 15, 2008

Have you been here, done this?

Yesterday ended up being a rough day. I had to run 7,246 errands. I finished all but one.
My errands included going to the mall, which I loathe. If I could stay home and do all my shopping via the Internet, I would—but there's this whole it-takes-too-long-to-ship-it-here thing and I needed stuff that very night—stuff that could only be found at the mall.

While walking the mall looking for my stuff, I passed Mrs. Cavanaugh's and got some sugar free chocolate covered raisins.
This particular treat is very hard to find. Usually when I happen upon them, I get a small bag. But I needed to reward myself for braving the mall, so I got a whole pound. As I was running the rest of my errands, I ate a few handfuls. They were delicious.

By the time I got home, several long and torturous hours later, I was exhausted. And sick.
Sick that required lots of laying on my bed with very loud moaning and groaning, which I fully indulged in because I was the only one at home.

I felt a tad better later in the day, but not much. I went to bed early and watched TV. To console myself for feeling so miserable, I ate half the bag a few more of the yummy raisins. Around 10:00 p.m. I was really feeling sick again, but the moaning and groaning was done softly because I didn't want to wake my daughter or worry my husband.

This morning, I still feel icky. I slept in until nearly 9:17 a.m. I then drug myself out of bed and forced myself to read my favorite blogs do my most pressing chores. I also checked up on some of my attempts to find semi-legitimate employment—employment where I will be highly esteemed and respected by my peers, as well as paid a lot of money to do very little actual work. It seems nobody wants me under those conditions so to ameliorate the sadness, I took a rest and ate more of those absolutely scrumptious raisins.

Within minutes of eating the second handful, I was SICK WITH A VENGEANCE, once again requiring lots of very loud moaning and groaning, which again I indulged in because it's only me and the dog here and he pays no attention to me at all, what with being involved in some very important work of his own.
It was in the midst of today's third violent session of moaning and groaning that I made the quick and astute connection between said moaning and groaning and the delicious sugar free chocolate covered raisins, of which I'd only eaten a very few. . .

Some people are just born brilliant.


Kenna said...

Aw man! Do you think they were poisoned, or are you allergic?

This was one of my fave posts of (yours.)

Becky said...

It might be the sugar-free coating. My mom is sensitive to one of the artificial sweeteners--I can't remember which one--and anytime she eats it she gets really sick in a not-so-fun way. That would be my guess.

Suan said...

i just have to say i love the way you put things.... you have this wonderful knack of making me laugh... i love your writing style... but i just have to say i miss the "now playing on my ipod"
you need to bring it back by popular (my) demand... love ya sis

Tristi Pinkston said...

Why is it that we always reward ourselves with stuff that hurts us?