Friday, June 12, 2009

Need for Perfection

True confession #9 of psychological obstacles that keep me cluttered and disorganized.

This is another biggie for me—right below Unclear Goals and just before Sentimental Attachments.

For me, included with the Need for Perfection is the Need to Be Right/Do It Right. There is a slight distinction. I'm so afraid of doing something wrong that often I'm paralyzed into inaction.

Wrong things would be:
  • Getting rid of something I will need later
  • Wasting time
  • Wasting money
  • Not doing what God wants me to do
  • Not doing it how He wants me to do it
  • Not doing something well enough
  • and a whole host of others that are just too pathetic to go into here.
I have a friend who believes in "the power of the little bit." Do a little bit here and a little bit there, and any progress is better than no progress. I tell myself this a lot. I tell it to others and they think I'm soooo wise. But do I do it?

Not so much.

I want to do things right, once and for all, and have them done. I don't like lots of change or constant change. I never move my furniture around just for fun. I move it until I discover the best arrangement that is most functional for me and then I leave it there until it rots. And I like it that way!

Same with pictures on the wall. I find a picture I like, hang it where I like it, and it stays. Example, I have a piano that has had the same picture of Christ with children hanging over it for more than twenty years. I've moved four times and every time, that picture goes right in the same spot. I like it that way.

Clothes. When I find a style I like, I often buy multiple colors. I have one shirt that I've worn since my son was born. He's 25 now. (Okay, so I didn't wear it for the years that I was really heavy and it wouldn't fit, but I still wear it now and I still love it.)

I want to find the perfect solution and keep it. Forever.

I'm weird that way. And some of that I will not change because it gives me peace and comfort. But I need to find a functional balance, a "good-enough."

I'm working on it.

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