Monday, December 14, 2009

I have super powers


I usually get two bad colds a year—one when winter starts and one in the spring. The first one is right on schedule—its schedule, of course. Not mine.

No, I would have put it off until January.

But those nasty germs took advantage of my inattention—what with being involved with DH's back surgery (he's doing great, btw) and partying with my parents and sisters (one sis flew out from KY as a SURPRISE for my birthday).

Those germs jumped me when I was looking the other direction. No fair at all!

I'm feeling a bit better now. I drug myself over to Walgreen's this morning for some sugar free cough syrup (important fact: expired cough syrup doesn't really work very well) and now that the cough is mostly tamed, I'm bored out of my mind.

But being sick is not all bad. I've learned all sorts of useful facts due to my observational super powers, which I will now share with you. (The observations, not the super powers. Those are all mine!)
  • Spike TV (which runs episodes of CSI) and A&E (which runs CSI: Miami) show five episodes in a row. And then they immediately repeat those same five episodes. In case you missed something.

  • The longer it's been since you've washed your hair, the more times you have to lather, rinse and repeat.

  • If your fever is really high, Dog the Bounty Hunter seems like high literary entertainment.

  • After 8 straight hours of Nintendo DS, smoke starts to come out the two little holes in the back. (But I made it to level 61 in the I Spy Fun House gumball game.)

  • It's amazing how little laundry has to be done when you wear the same pair of pajamas four days in a row.

  • Despite popular belief, you cannot cough up a lung. Your coughing can, however, wake your DH who is sleeping in the extreme opposite end of the house.

  • It is really hard to play Super Collapse 3 when you're coughing. (It's also very hard to sleep.)

  • eHarmony is not a dating site, it's a relationship site.

  • Fa-la-la-la Lifetime is currently showing non-stop Christmas shows.

  • If someone asks you to do something you don't really want to do, say, "Hold on a minute..." and then launch into a coughing spasm. They will immediately retract their request, and leave. Works every single time.
I'd post more of these cool facts, but I'm saving some for titillating New Year's Eve party conversation.

Now playing on my iPod: Well, nothing. Because it's across the room and I'm too tired to get up. But I found this funny video about the Swine Flu (which I don't have, btw. It's just a cold.)

4 comments:

~~Mia~~ said...

OMG, you're hilarious!!!! I am sitting here just chuckling to myself!!!!!! *giggles*

Nichole Giles said...

Man, that just stinks. I'm so sorry you're sick. On the bright side, though, you have an excellent excuse to stay home and do nothing and no one can fault you for it.

Feel better soon.

Nichole

C.L. (Cindy) Beck, author said...

Sorry you're so sick. Are you sure you didn't cough up a lung, though? Because it looks to me like something on your floor is breathing. :)

LOVE your new Christmas background. It is so cool. What talent, even when you're sick!

Oh ... and since when ISN'T Dog the Bounty Hunter high entertainment? (Loved your list, btw.)

Sandra said...

Put Vicks on the bottom of your feet, then socks, then go to bed. It quiets the cough.